Saralee Erwin Kramer, LMFT

Couples counseling, also referred to as couples therapy or marital counseling, can help people assess and better understand fractures in their relationships. A couples counselor may ask partners to determine what problems they are facing. Couples counselors may instruct each partner to describe their underlying emotions, experiences, and beliefs in detail. This process may be performed with both partners in the same room or just one at a time. The goal of this exercise is for partners to gain greater understanding of each other's needs and to create solutions for these needs to be met. For example, a couple may arrive at the conclusion that one partner's work schedule leads the other to feel neglected or overwhelmed. Then, couples might implement strategies such as increased communication and partner agreements. These strategies may address previous conflicts as well as prevent new ones from occurring.

In some instances, couples counselors may recommend individual therapy for one or both partners. Individual therapy can address mental health problems that negatively impact the relationship. With continued counseling, people can restore communication and may gain greater understanding of one another's needs, enabling them to better develop solutions for these needs to be properly met.

Closely related to family therapy, couples therapy is a type of counseling that seeks to help couples improve their relationship. A therapist may teach each partner in the relationship specific skills, such as managing or expressing their emotions, conflict resolution, communication skills, and problem solving. Both people in the couple need to be committed to learning new skills themselves as well as putting effort into supporting the relationship. The typical goals of couples therapy are to decrease conflict, unhappiness, and resentment, as well as increase communication, intimacy, and connection.

Couples therapy may be offered privately, at a university, or in a group practice. It is usually short-term therapy, lasting a few weeks until the participants have learned new skills and have the ability to repair their relationship. Its effectiveness depends on the willingness of both participants to commit to therapy and make the relationship a priority. For many couples it can be extremely helpful.

Humans begin to gain self-esteem in childhood from being cared for by adults and reaching natural milestones such as learning how to tie one's shoes. Self-esteem evolves through adolescence and adulthood, and can change drastically based on one's positive and negative experiences. It's important to develop healthy self-esteem to navigate through challenges, make decisions, and gain motivation to pursue interests.

Self-esteem issues can influence one's emotions, behavior, relationships, and world view. Self-esteem issues frequently arise from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can be caused by factors such as trauma, caregiver neglect, abuse, bullying, and academic, social, or professional difficulties. Stressful life events such as parental divorce, caregiver conflict, and financial problems may also contribute to low self-esteem. In recent years, researchers have highlighted the influence of social media in negatively impacting adolescents' mental health. Common signs of low self-esteem include:

• Focusing on failures instead of accomplishments
• Feeling triggered when making mistakes
• Constantly comparing oneself to others in a negative way
• Lacking confidence

Excessive self-esteem can also be problematic in that it can hinder one's ability to form relationships with others. People with extremely high self-esteem may appear to be conceited or entitled. Some researchers suggest very high self-esteem can lead people to engage in more risk-taking behaviors. Causes of excessive self-esteem are less well-known, but may include upbringing, personality, and cognitive biases.

Fortunately, self-esteem issues can be readily addressed at any time. Positive self-affirmations recognizing one's own accomplishments can raise low self-esteem. Accepting one's own weaknesses and imperfections can benefit those with both low and high self-esteem. People with self-esteem issues often find therapy is an effective means to improve their self-esteem and mental health. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help people with self-esteem issues identify and change destructive patterns of thought. Support groups, family counseling, and antidepressant medication may also help with self-esteem issues.

Maintaining a positive outlook and belief in oneself can go a long way towards forming healthy self-esteem. Developing a strong sense of self can be important for well-being and contributes to overall happiness and success in life.