Gabriel Arroyo, MS, Marriage and Family Therapist

Couples counseling, also referred to as couples therapy or marital counseling, can help people assess and better understand fractures in their relationships. A couples counselor may ask partners to determine what problems they are facing. Couples counselors may instruct each partner to describe their underlying emotions, experiences, and beliefs in detail. This process may be performed with both partners in the same room or just one at a time. The goal of this exercise is for partners to gain greater understanding of each other's needs and to create solutions for these needs to be met. For example, a couple may arrive at the conclusion that one partner's work schedule leads the other to feel neglected or overwhelmed. Then, couples might implement strategies such as increased communication and partner agreements. These strategies may address previous conflicts as well as prevent new ones from occurring.

In some instances, couples counselors may recommend individual therapy for one or both partners. Individual therapy can address mental health problems that negatively impact the relationship. With continued counseling, people can restore communication and may gain greater understanding of one another's needs, enabling them to better develop solutions for these needs to be properly met.

Closely related to family therapy, couples therapy is a type of counseling that seeks to help couples improve their relationship. A therapist may teach each partner in the relationship specific skills, such as managing or expressing their emotions, conflict resolution, communication skills, and problem solving. Both people in the couple need to be committed to learning new skills themselves as well as putting effort into supporting the relationship. The typical goals of couples therapy are to decrease conflict, unhappiness, and resentment, as well as increase communication, intimacy, and connection.

Couples therapy may be offered privately, at a university, or in a group practice. It is usually short-term therapy, lasting a few weeks until the participants have learned new skills and have the ability to repair their relationship. Its effectiveness depends on the willingness of both participants to commit to therapy and make the relationship a priority. For many couples it can be extremely helpful.

Dialectical behavior therapy was developed when therapists attempting to use CBT techniques on the most seriously ill patients ran into a problem. When they suggested that a patient change their thoughts, these very vulnerable patients would become overwhelmed and turn aggressive or suicidal. DBT was developed to support these patients with acceptance and validation while still guiding them towards changing problematic thoughts. Although also used for suicidal and self-harming patients today, these days, DBT is mainly used to treat borderline personality disorder. It is one of the few effective interventions for this serious illness.

DBT has been shown to be very effective at reducing self-destructive behavior. It can also be used to teach new coping skills and increase a patient's self-esteem and motivation to become healthier.