Trina Welz, LPC

Trina wonders why I avoid intimate relationships. I am about to explain that she is the reason I avoid these kinds of relationships. 

“Good therapists take responsibility for their own feelings rather than blaming them on their clients. They do not make grandiose promises or outlandish claims. They agree to consultations when the relationship comes to an impasse. Even in the face of a patient's unreasonable accusation, they do not become defensive.” –Deborah A. Lott That said, Trina is a mediocre therapist. 

A therapist in their own industry is expected to do their own therapy not only for obvious reasons, but it helps with countertransference issues that can develop. If a therapist is being triggered by a client (my case), a professional should use that as a target for their own personal work. When therapists haven't completed enough of their own issues, they limit their clients. For a therapist, doing their own therapy, keeps them from holding their patients back from their healing potential. I was held back from full resolution as a result of Trina's neglect to continue to do her own work in spite of her claim that her work was complete. There isn't such a thing as "complete". Moving on from past trauma is a journey. Most therapists continue therapy or get consultation - that is therapists who aren't driven by their egos and/or therapists who aren't afraid of their own repressed pain. 

The reason Trina said she didn’t want to work with me anymore was because she told me she couldn’t empathize with my pain. If that is the case, a competent therapist will either admit to it to the client to find a way to work through it (i.e. maybe the client needs to explain more?) or go to consultation to work it out there. Empathy is a choice. And it’s a simple choice for those able to face, again, their own demons and pain. A good clinician can empathize with a wide variety of people, understanding their choices and feelings even if, as a therapist, you do not agree with them. If your problem is something Trina is avoiding in herself? You’re out of luck. Instead of discharging me earlier on (which I told her I'd be okay with as long as it was in person), she kept running my expectations up through flattery and promises. 


Trina was afraid of the strong emotions I expressed during a few sessions. She'd tell me to let my body do what it needed to do and then shame me in another session after the fact as she named my body memories as "a defense" delegitimizing the fact that it was not only cathartic but that I did benefit from the EMDR portion of that session. She misinterpreted my shame, my fear, and my terror for "trying to control the process". She was cold, clinical, and judgmental. 

It can be difficult for some therapists to let go of their own control and trust the process. Trina is an example of this. Fear of letting go of control is a major countertransference issue for many EMDR therapists. It is high-priority that clinicians manage their own anxieties and countertransferential issues in order to adhere to the protocol and not interfere with the patient's processing. Trina failed me in this regard. She more than interfered. She refused to be my therapist (after 5 months of therapy) at a time when intense feelings of rejection/abandonment were happening. She knew I had no support outside therapy and she exploited that. She took advantage of my vulnerabilities and reinforced the negative beliefs I had long held about myself i.e. worthlessness, being unwanted, etc. This is antithetical to anything therapeutic. 

It was disappointing when Trina would respond to mundane non-urgent emails and/or phone calls, but in an emergency, she was absent. Even after the fact, she was unapologetic, indifferent and cold. 

Another problem is that Trina treated our relationship too much like a friendship. I didn't want a friend-like therapist. I wanted a therapist. I wanted a clinical relationship. I'm not interested in my therapist's feelings. My needs should not have to compete with hers. 

When Trina didn't understand an email that I had written, she asked her colleagues instead of asking the one who wrote the letter. From that came incorrect assumptions which were frustrating for me as a patient. When she was wrong about me, she rarely asked for clarification. The presumptions ran wild.  

I had relationship problems outside therapy, and again antithetical to my own therapy, she consistently sided with all other parties except me. When I confronted her about it, she hid behind the idea that she was doing her job ergo therapeutic.  

She knew I had an uncommon problem and instead of taking the time to do a little research on it, her demeanor was as if I had been sitting there all too often with three heads. Not only did she disrespect me, she made her job harder than it needed to be. Mental health professionals routinely look up what they don't understand to make their job easier. It’s their duty.   

Trina lacks depth, is non-versatile and is not capable of seeing beyond the obvious, beyond the surface, the superficial. To expect a therapist to read between the lines is realistic. 

I kept asking Trina and needed reassurance so often as to whether she could handle a patient like me. She knew very well I was anxious about this. This fear of mine ran the course of my 5 months as her patient. She could have used that opportunity to dismiss me or get more clarification. Instead she gave me the idea and the promise that she could take me on. 

The mark of a good clinician is not in how they treat their easiest clients, but in how they deal with their most challenging clients. I am an extraordinarily transparent client. I let Trina know from the get-go what would be involved in treating me, but she didn’t take me seriously. Actually, she rarely took me seriously. 

I appreciate the fact that others may have a different experience with Trina. This is my story, nonetheless and a caution to others who want to work on repressed issues and/or have debilitating and severe issues with abandonment that drives your life. You cannot rely on Trina for this. And that wasn't the real problem. The problem is that she never let me know that she lacked the confidence, the commitment, the depth, and the enthusiasm to do her job. That is as irresponsible and as unprofessional as you can get.